Tonight, my daughter is sad. Tears are streaming out of her eyes, her face is redder than a tomato, and she needs extra snuggles. At some point today, her two year old Beta fish finally passed away. When I say, finally, I mean, we thought he would die A YEAR AGO. With that in mind, I thought we were ready. I thought we all accepted the fact that fish don’t live very long. But tonight, when we figured out he was gone, it hit my 6-year-old like a ton of bricks and she cried the sloppy, snotty tears that only true sadness brings.
My. Heart. Broke.
Years ago, when I was a perfect mom, you know, BEFORE I had kids, I dreamed of giving my kids everything. I always knew there would be limits, but I TRULY thought that Scott and I would be able to provide a different life than the one we are able to give them.
Don’t get me wrong, IT’s A GOOD LIFE. However, the reality is, we CANNOT give our kids EVERYTHING. Sometimes, it is hard.
Ana LOVES animals. She loves the fact that her name has letters in common with the word “animals.” She thinks it’s special. Since she was little, if it had fur or was on a leash, she would find it and LOVE it. We met people walking dogs, and after two minutes of playing and petting, as the dog and owner walked away, she would cry, “He loved me.”
We are renters. That is our reality and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Yes, we could probably have a bunny, guinea pig, hamster, or another caged fur animal, BUT we all know that when the thing gets out, it’s the mom that has to get it back in its cage. I don’t do rodents. Scott is allergic to cats, so we will never have one of those. Someday, we will have a dog, but not today, this month, or most likely this year.
I wish I could fix this for her, but the reality is, I cannot give my daughter everything. Is it hard, yes, but deep down, I know she will be Okay.