I personally am enjoying all of the different blog posts, Facebook status’, pictures of what people do or don’t do with their Elf on the Shelf. Between Pinterest, blogs, and Twitter, I have come to realize that there are different types of Elf on the Shelf mommies. As if the “Mommy Wars” needed anything else to feed on! Alas, that is our culture, so I am going to do on my blog what I do in real life: I am going to make fun of the whole thing and EACH AND EVERYONE OF US.
Mommy #1 – “We don’t do the Elf”
Of course, there are those that don’t play along. Maybe the parents think elves are creepy, maybe they think it takes away from Jesus, maybe they are not fun, or maybe those parents have better things to do with $30. For whatever reason, in conversations with real mommies, I have come to realize there is an air about those parents who refuse to buy the elf. ”We don’t have an elf at our house, our kids behave.” ”My kids know about Jesus, so they don’t NEED an elf.” ”The elf is too scary.”
Those sentences kill any fun conversation about The Elf on the Shelf and sometimes, make you look like a liar. Kids do not behave all of the time. I am a teacher, I know these things. Plus, kids can have an elf and know about Jesus. I have to throw that out to the Universe.
Mommy #2 – The Elf Slacker
This mommy bought the Elf or received it as a gift. It moves, most of the time. This mom refuses to do anything more than try to remember to move it each night. When she forgets, she quickly thinks of a lie to cover herself. She doesn’t talk about the elf, and has no interest wasting her time writing about, taking pictures of, or really doing anything with it. Her biggest hope is that this stranger she invited into her home motivates her kids to be good in December.
I do wonder, wouldn’t it be easier to set a reminder alarm close to bedtime than lying through your teeth all of the December? Just a question…
Mommy #3 – The Good intentions Mom
This mom bought the elf with good intentions on letting her creative side show. However, she can’t bring herself to throw flour or marshmallows all over her house, even in the name of Christmas cheer. She has no interest in making cookies after the kids are already in bed, and wishes a real elf would come to life to CLEAN her house. This parent remembers to move The Elf each night, and might even hang him from the ceiling, or string him up here and there. Most of the time, this Elf gets moved around one or two rooms in the house in pretty generic Elf on the Shelf poses.
Personally, I like to think this mom is normal……But come on already, drink some coffee and step up your game a little…
Mommy #4 – The Naughty Mommy
This mom is most likely Mommy #3 or #5 by day, but at night, once the kids are in bed, she spends time creating naughty stories about her elf. This character has put The Elf on the Shelf in many compromising positions, possibly with other elves, Ken dolls and Barbies. She spends time submitting her pictures to the Elf Shaming blog and dreams of the day that she gets featured.
She sounds like a fun gal, but it is a bit disturbing to have THAT much fun with a toy. Just saying.
Mommy #5 – The Classic Overachiever, June Cleaver Wanna Be
This Mom has taken the Elf on the Shelf tradition to a whole new level. Her elf spends anywhere from 25-100 days at her house, making flour messes, having marshmallow fights, writing on pictures, leaving homemade cookies that were whipped up “while the family was sleeping,” and doing so many other unbelievable, over the top activities to really make her precious babies have a Merry Christmas. She might even have extra elves in storage so that someday, she can pass one on to each of her kids so they can create their own special memories for her grandchildren. She also plans out her blogs so they are accepted into Pinterest culture. She might even spend her summer, taking the elf out at night, and thinking of 200 things one can do with one of these elves. By next summer, she will have a list of 1,000 items, in the hopes of being a pinning sensation; her blog will go viral and she will be the next “DIY Queen of Pinterest.”
I guess my whole point, other than making fun of the whole thing, is WHO CARES what others do in their homes? If a mom wants to make a mess all over her house, let her do it. It’s not like she expects you to clean it up. If you don’t do the “elf thing” that is great, but don’t get high on yourself.
How each family celebrates or doesn’t celebrate Christmas or any other holiday is not for others to judge.
All that matters is that we love our kids, and we can do that with or without silly Christmas traditions. Keeping that in mind, let’s just remember to enjoy this season, it only comes once a year. Do the traditions that make you happy and forget the rest.
Heck, wouldn’t it be great if mothers could remember to do that all year-long?
I do want to know, Which Elf Parent are You? Do you go over the top? Do you forget about the evil creature? Is your house Elf-less?
Have I forgotten an “Elf Mommy?”