My kids have some memories of their dad. They remember beach picnics, cuddling, fishing, walking to Michigan, driving to the mountains, and our one day at an amusement park. While looking through pictures, they remember more. I’m happy I can give that gift to them.
They knew their dad as young children. They saw him as both a good time and disciplinarian. Although they don’t remember the latter.
There are so many ways they won’t know Scott and honestly, it breaks my heart. They won’t know him as friend or adult companion. They won’t know him as the family math expert or a voice of reason. They won’t see his adventurous side as he climbs mountains or takes them hiking through canyons. They won’t hear his tales about his life’s poor choices, as they grow and make mistakes. So many life experiences and roles of their dad have been taken from them too soon, for a reason I will never be able to explain or understand.
Despite all of the dids, and will nevers, if there is one lesson Scott can leave with them is happiness in life, even while you’re at work.
I fell in love with Scott, not just because he made me feel like the only one in the room, but also because he made me laugh. He said, my smile was his motivation. Together, we were extremely happy, even when we were sad.
Scott went to many colleges and chased different careers. He always took a break when he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. In the end, he knew he could make a living as a mathematician, and in 2006, he had the degree to make it happen. In time, between kids and autism, a desk job, he lost himself. He gained weight he could not lose, and told fewer and fewer jokes. His shirts were pressed, his nails clean, and he was lost and unhappy.
A year before the recession, he was fired from the job that was slowly destroying his soul. It was the best thing that ever happened to us, because it forced him to chase the dream he wanted to all along: being a mailman.
As a Postal worker, my funny, carefree, simple husband came back to our family. He didn’t care he worked six days a week. Unless he missed one of the kids’ activities, he didn’t care he worked on Saturday. He loved his job. He was happy and believed in the work he did. His nails were dirty, but his heart was happy.
I know, in this way, I’m not the best role model. I love my job, but not like he did. I work out of necessity, but not out of desire. My passions don’t always match my paycheck, and all too often a day at the office leaves me tired.
The legacy he leaves his kids is not in the work he did, but the way he felt while doing it everyday. In the end, he was happy, accomplished, and the best role model about having it all.