My husband was both the best gift giver and the worst gift giver, ever. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s true. On another note, I never actually made it easy for him, since I am not great at making lists or wanting material things.
On days where gifts were expected, birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Scott would often give me something he THOUGHT I might like or use, some were gems, many were duds. By Valentine’s Day, he never even bothered. I don’t blame him.
Our first married Christmas, I was the proud owner of Yak Trax, you know, the things you put on the bottom of your shoes to walk on ice. Something this clutzy twenty-something needed – yes. A good gift? No.
Another birthday, Scott was over two hours late to my house. He eventually showed up with a pink sweater, three sizes too small, that he must have just grabbed off a rack so he wouldn’t come empty handed. In my twenties, I HATED pink. If I recall, we were dating, so apparently, I wasn’t with him for the gifts.
However, the stupid material gifts aren’t what my heart misses, now that he is gone. You see, he gave me so many gifts in the short 13 years we were together. Some are sweet, some are typical, but they ALL have a story and they ALL came from his heart. I will share a few of my favorites.
My first pregnancy didn’t just happen on accident. It was a process, that eventually led to a dream that we would have kids. A few months into it I stepped out of the shower to find a LARGE gift certificate to a local spa. “Thank you for carrying our child. I love you.” My friends’ husbands rolled their eyes, my heart melted over this thoughtful gesture.
I have been addicted to photography for years and years. I have taken THOUSANDS of pictures, yet I never invested in the right gear to get better. For my 30th birthday, when we had two kids, car payments, daycare bills, autism expenses, and so many other things, Scott gave me my first DSLR camera. “How did you afford this?” I asked. “Well, this past year, every time I went to the store, I took some extra money out, that you never noticed. That cash added up.” That wasn’t the only time he made me invest in this hobby that is now a job. I owe those opportunities to Scott and how he ENCOURAGED my dreams and passions.
Years ago, Scott won his and her iPod Minis (He was such a lucky guy like that!). We were so excited to finally have iPods! One day, I when I was working out, a song finished, I heard a pause, and then my husband’s voice, “I love you very much.” He recorded that for me, and hid it on my iPod. Luckily, a few devices later, I still have that recording and it still comes on iPhone. My heart always skips a beat.
A few months ago, I noticed that my phone made a noise every morning on my way to work. At work, when I looked at it, it said, “Scott loves you!” He figured out how to set a radius reminder on my phone, so every time I leave the area of our house, it goes off. Since he passed, the reminder isn’t as predictable and sometimes goes off when it shouldn’t.
The best gift of all, is this message he sends from the other side of life. I miss his gifts, not the material ones, but the real ones, the ones from his heart. Honestly, he only knew how to give himself and that is all I ever wanted anyway.