Since late summer in 2000, I loved Scott with my whole heart. However, on August 10, 2013, I learned the price of a deep love. After watching my husband, wince in pain, no matter how many drugs the doctors gave him, I knew it was time to start praying for a new miracle. In that moment, I learned the biggest lesson I knew about love. It was more important to pray that he exited his body, which caused him pain, than to pray he stayed here for us.
Two days later, Scott was given his miracle. He was set free from the pain and left to begin his eternal life. I’m still devastated, and miss him more and more each day. I loved him so much, that I’d rather he be out of pain, away from us, than in excruciating pain with us. THAT IS LOVE.
Here is our engagement story, that took place exactly 13 years ago today, as well as last year’s perspective on love:
Twelve years ago today Scott picked me up from work, as usual. He took me to a bike shop and surprised me with the best, easiest question of my life: “Courtney, will you marry me?” (For our engagement story, click here)
Twelve years ago, I said, “Yes” to our version of “Happily Ever After.” It was a simple question with the easiest answer in the world. I don’t know if I ever actually said yes, however, my dream came true that day, or so I thought.
However, at 22, we had no idea what “happily ever after” truly meant.
While, we knew that life wouldn’t always be perfect, we had no idea that our fairy tale ending, or fairy tale beginning, would include all that it has. We had no idea that our version of happily ever after meant, stress, love, happiness, autism, moving, adventures, travel, lessons, children, jobs, loss of jobs, careers, college, dump trucks, Cancer, and so much more.
We knew that “Happily Ever After” meant being together, love, and happiness. However, when you say, “yes” at 22, you have no idea what that commitment truly means. We had no idea about the moments that could be tough or hard. We had no idea what TRUE LOVE means, despite the fact we were in love.
On that day, twelve years ago, I thought our love was strong. Looking back at that moment, our love was weak. It’s the same events, the unforeseen ones that make us strong; the ones that make our love grow deeper and into new meaning each and every day.
The moment Scott proposed, at the time, was one of the happiest of my life. He truly completes me and makes me whole. However, it’s the daily love he gives me that makes me the luckiest, happiest wife.
Twelve years ago, I said, “yes.” However, the most important lesson I have learned since that day is: While we might not be happy with every moment of every day; our version of “happily ever after” is the gift of finding happiness, together, each and every day.
Scott Fitzgerald, I thanked God for you today.