I often feel like a bad mother, and many times I am. I try so hard to be good. I go to the games, I sit and cheer. I support my kids and I want them to follow their dreams. But inside my head, deep in the honest and crazy place, I am not a great mommy. Sometimes, the naughty mommy slips out, when she should be buried deep. Someday, I hope she moves out, like I have asked her to many times.
McCartney played on 3 different baseball leagues since April. They did not overlap and each one lasted around 6 weeks. The final league, through our local Parks and Rec department, was competitive, which means, they kept score, which means winning and losing. My son, future baseball pro, LOVED the idea of competitive sports. He has been ready for score keeping for a year now, anything to be more like the pros. Anything to be like David Ortiz. Except after his first loss, he cried, I wonder if David Ortiz has ever cried after losing a game too?
Last week, I thought we were attending our last game of the incredibly LONG losing season, when the coach hands out the tournament schedule. What? I mean, the schedule says there is a tournament, but last year it said it too, but he never had one, so I ASS-UMED. Anyway, it’s day 20 of over 95, and we get to look forward to more evening games in the sun. (Insert dry – yay…)
Friday’s game comes and the team plays a team that they beat before. McCartney is sure they will beat them again. I tell him, “You play games for a reason. Do your best.” I am sure you know how this game turned out. My shining moment was when the game timed out at an hour, the coaches had the kids play another inning. I was hot, my husband who works over 50 hours a week in the 105 degree heat was waiting to be picked up, Ana was talking my ear off, needless to say, our team had lost, they weren’t going to win, it was time to go. I lost it, “Why are they getting their gloves? The game is over. We lost. It’s time to go.” Parents look at me like I have lost my mind. Maybe I did. I don’t know. Baseball is over. He has no endorsements. He’s 7, it’s 100 degrees. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the game was officially over.
Monday came, McCartney spent the day OBSESSING over the ifs and what ifs of the upcoming game at 6:30 (yes, it’s still FREAKING hot outside). “Buddy, you will be in Maine for the championship. I hope you win tonight, but PLEASE just play your best and PLEASE, PLEASE have fun. You are 7, baseball is not your job, yet,” I am begging my son. Life is full of so few enjoyments, why does he have to take everything so seriously????
The second game of the tournament begins. This is it, folks, an important game. One team will be done with baseball, and the other will report back Thursday night at 6:30. I know which one I wanted to be on, but for my son, I hoped we would be back…. (Even after I typed it, I still didn’t believe it.)
I will let the photos tell the rest of the story:
As you can see, for our family, baseball is officially over! …until September when the fall league begins! Yay, can’t wait! I only have a few weeks to get those baseball pants washed. I wonder who the next bank sponsor will be? Oh, and Ana said that she is ready to play sports again, so we get to do this double time in the fall! No, I really do love watching my kids play sports. Sports are the BEST places for childhood candids. Hopefully, the heatwave will be lifted by then, and happy mommy will be out and about more often and crazy mommy won’t come out to play.
Do you have a crazy side? What do you do when she/he comes out to play? Make me feel better!