I want to be happy. I want life to be full of rainbows and adventures. I keep reading about gratitude and how I should be GRATEFUL for every single circumstance that life throws at you. I try to find gratitude and happiness everyday, even today and yesterday, and the other days that do not go my way.
However, somedays many days, lately, I fail.
I keep hearing, “How are you?”
“What can I do?”
“What do you need?”
“How can I help?”
I need nothing you can give me.
I need nothing that can be bought.
I don’t want anything, except for one thing, and I guarantee you can’t make it happen.
So, until my heart heals, or at least calluses over a little, please, let me be sad.
Let me be sad at amusement parks and when I am with my kids in fun places.
Let me be sad in the store.
Let me be sad at football games or other public events where I would rather not be.
Let me be sad.
Don’t ask me if I have considered drugs.
Please DO understand that my heart is broken. I AM functional. I am taking care of my kids and meeting their needs ahead of mine, most days.
I lost the love of my life. THE ONE who I was supposed to be with for the rest of MY life.
I am allowed to be sad about this, for months, years, as long as I need.
Please, just understand I am sad and will be until the day, week, month, or year that I am not.
Let me be sad, because it is where I am today.