Before I had kids, I thought my ability to manage 23 children in an educational setting would prepare me for motherhood. I am a trained professional and make a living communicating. Motherhood? Bring it.
Ten years later, I laugh at my stupidity. I have amazing kids. Despite my efforts, communicating effectively is not as simple as it sounds. Everyday I give directions to my kids. Despite my efforts, they NEVER actually hear the words my brain intended to say.
Honestly, I often wonder what happens to language once it leaves my mouth and enters their ears.
The other day I said, “Kids, we have a mouse in the garage. Keep this door closed.” In less than two hours, I found that EXACT door open TEN times. TEN. Apparently, they heard, “Kids, leave this door open, we need a new pet!”
Tonight, I said, “Clean your room before playing Minecraft.” My daughter heard, “…play Minecraft,” because that is exactly what she did. AAAAHHHH!
Out of frustration, I turned to my fellow writing friends, and in minutes time, I found out I’m not alone. Something does change in translation, although we speak the same language. It’s everywhere!
Let’s play a game of “I say… , they hear…”
I say, “We have a lot to do today.” They hear, “Do everything together, one-handed, so you can fight.”
Suburban Snapshots: I say “Dinner’s ready.” She hears, “Roller derby.”
House Talkn: I say, “It’s time to pick up your rooms.” They hear, “It’s time to wear all the things on your floor.”
Four Plus an Angel: I say, “Hand me my phone so I can figure out where we’re going.” He hears “Quick! Take 8000 selfies using that app that makes my nostrils huge.”
Baby Sideburns: I say, “It’s time to go to the restaurant.” She hears, “It’s time to go work at the German Biergarten.”
Mom of the Year: I say, “Try to sing nicely with your class at preschool graduation.” He hears, “It’s okay to vigorously pick your nose while you’re on stage.”
Kissing the Frog: I say, “It’s time for bed.” They hear, “Let’s have a slumber party!”
Baby Sideburns: I say, “Let’s get ready for school.” He hears, “Let’s put on Mommy’s underwear and feel myself up.”
So there you have it. Communication fails everyone. I bet if you pay attention, you too can join the game of, “I say… , they hear…”.
If you liked this post, you need I Still just want to Pee Alone. It will make you laugh and laugh!