One minute, I was working on my master’s literature review, suddenly I heard, “We need to get to UNMC as soon as possible.” I knew that sentence was coming, but I was surprised by the urgency. Scott was in pain and he needed his pump adjusted. When they say jump, well you know the rest.
We grabbed books, electronic books, and anything to help make the sudden doctors appointment a success. As we drove, Scott’s pain was out of control and it increased. Less than ten minutes with the doctor, it was decided that a hospital admission was in order.
The kids and I entered Scott’s room, and they continued to fight over who got to play the iPad. Scott was writhing in pain, and I answered the million admitting questions. Eventually, my mom showed up to get them out of the hospital and quick good-byes were said. A couple of half-hearted hugs, but with a “See you tomorrow” feel about them.
Except, it wasn’t for one night, or two. A quick good-bye lead to a nine-day separation that was unplanned, and unexpected. I was thankful for the time I was able spend in my husband’s hospital room, talking with doctors and professionals about his recent health. I was thankful not to have to deal with fighting and squabbling, while trying to remember details about Scott that eventually lead to solving the complicated and intricate puzzle of the source of the pain.
However, as I drove home at night and woke up in a dark and empty house, I missed us. I ached for us. I missed the whole picture of us, not the “picture perfect us” that often gets put up on pedestals in times of absence.
I missed the constant chatter about nothing.
I missed the fighting about who has more magic than the other, and other equally silly fights.
I missed the accidental spills that could have been prevented by using ones head.
I missed the silly fights, and the “I don’t want to!”
I missed the hugs. I missed the stories. I missed the moments of laughter.
I missed the smiles and tears.
I missed so many moments with my husband, kids and me at home, together.
I missed us: the good, bad, and sometimes ugly. This week has reminded us the importance of the together days, because the not together days can happen in a flash.