Everyday, I have a choice

good morningI’m utterly, and completely overwhelmed.  Life is hard.  I’m sad.  I’ve been given an Earthly hand that wasn’t fair, and I would do ANYTHING to change it, but I simply can’t.

Somehow, I have to live life.

I try to sleep every night and when it’s time to start a new day, I have a choice:

I can stay in bed all day

or

I can TRY to live.

 

Most mornings, I WISH I could just stay in bed, but soon I hear:

“What’s for breakfast?”

“I love you.”

“Millie is whining, (please) take her outside.”

or other sweet phrases like that.

Somedays, I miss-2

 

When my kids don’t follow directions, fight in the morning, or spill their cereal everywhere, I have a choice:

I can get angry,

I can get sad and frustrated,

I can feel sorry for myself that I am here alone figuring EVERYTHING out alone,

OR

I can help them with their problems, as I gently ask them what they could have done differently.

I don’t always make the right choice, but I keep trying.

 

As I walk through the school door less than 5 minutes before class begins, frazzled and breathless, already looking like a mess, I have a choice:

I can quickly pull it together, making myself ready for another exciting day of possibilities,

OR

I can be overwhelmed wondering how to make it through.

dream from above

 

As the day wears on, stuff happens, I get tired, and even more overwhelmed, I have a choice:

I can focus on the “I can’ts” “Impossibles” and “failures,” the leaky ceiling, and ….

OR

I can focus on those small, beautiful moments where the kids (or a kid) shows he/she has learned SOMETHING today!

 

At night, when I troll social media, I have a choice:

I can focus on the people who obviously think teachers are underworked and overpaid, glorified baby-sitters, and an easy job with summers off

OR

I can ignore the ignorance and focus on those who inspire, motivate, LOVE their fellow man.

 

Everyday, I have a choice:

I can dwell in sadness, unfairness, anger, and loss.

OR

I can TRY my best to keep on living a grateful life, even when it takes EVERY ounce of energy I have.

 

I don’t always make the best choice, but everyday I TRY.

As long as I remind myself that mistakes and failures are evidence of a life lived for this day, I know that someday, I’m going to actually be okay.

About Courtney

I am a wife, mother, teacher, photographer and writer. Trying to figure out this thing called life. While the road twists and turns, I am loving the journey.
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Everyday, I have a choice

  1. Oh, Courtney. You’re trying, and we love you for it.

  2. Liz Cooper says:

    Keep trying! I know it isn’t easy but I am glad you can see you do have a choice. Never give up. Never feel bad for the days that you fall short…we all do from time to time. You are loved no matter what!

  3. Sounds like you’re making all the right choices, to me. Keep at it, it’s the smartest thing you can do! I’m with you, always finding the positive.

  4. Well said. It’s amazing, just when you think you have so little control over anything in life, you realize just how much control you DO have. You can control your actions. You are amazing.

  5. You’re more than okay, honey. xo

  6. Kat says:

    I’m a registered nurse and I do end-of-life care but I want you to know being a single mother and being a teacher are the two most difficult jobs on the planet you
    impress me every single time I read what you write… you are blessed and your children are very very lucky. Xxoo

  7. Jeanne says:

    You are doing well. “I know that some day, I am actually going to be okay.” Yes, you will.

  8. Meredith says:

    Oh friend, your strength in just shooting to try is amazing. You blow me away–all the time. xo and prayers.

  9. Mary H. says:

    Hon, you are doing great! Remember that we can continually rely on God to help us through every day, and even when we “fail,” if we are His children, He will never forsake us.

  10. Lizzi R says:

    Yeah – what they said. Getting up in the morning and choosing to even TRY is huge. Like, massive. And it takes effort right from the offset.

    But all the time you choose it, you’re developing those ways of behaving and thinking which will support you so well in the future, when you suddenly discover that hey, you got this.

  11. findingninee says:

    It would be so easy to stay in bed all day, wouldn’t it? Certainly, nobody would blame you because it can’t be easy dealing with everything on your own. But you are doing it. You’re living. You’re being. You’re loving. You’re living. And your kids are so very lucky to have such an amazingly strong mama – and you, too, are lucky to have them. You’re doing it. You’re doing it all just right.
    Huge hugs and love, Courtney. xo

I love to talk! Tell me your thoughts and let's chat