We lined up to exit our door, and enter the garage one by one. Of course, the kids took extra care to stand in the doorway, not moving, not doing anything, but STANDING there. “Why? Why? Why do they do that???” I wondered, yet again.
Finally, we were loaded up, and I was ready to put our car in reverse, when something caught in the corner of my eye. I saw a dark gray tale. “Oh, please no!” I thought. I watched some more. Sure enough, by my lawn mower, I saw the mouse.
“AAAAHHHH! There’s a mouse! THERE’S A MOUSE! ICK! UGH! No, No, NO!” I shrieked.
“Oh, he’s CUTE!”
“No! Ick! It is NOT welcome in MY garage!
We continued this conversation as I finally drove my kids to school. My hands were shaking. I thought I was going to have to pull over so I could lose the contents of my stomach. The fear of mice is real and something I have been unable to conquer to this day.
“We could set a trap,” offered my oldest.
And that is when it HIT me like a ton of bricks. “Oh my gosh! We could, but then WHO will empty that trap???”
SILENCE. SILENCE. It was deafening. In that second, we ALL KNEW and were reminded again, that thirteen months ago, we lost our mouse trap emptier. Now, it was one of us, who would be forced into that role. Ready or not. It is the reality.
After we said our goodbyes for the day, I was still shaking. My stomach still hurt, and I wondered how on Earth will I continue with this day?
I started crying and praying. Luckily, it wasn’t the regular UGLY cry tears, but the tears that leak out, despite the insane effort to keep them in. The ones who escape because there are too many in there, and they know I can’t hold them in for another long 12 hours.
My roles, as mom, teacher, homeowner, boo-boo fixer, lawn mower, house cleaner, bill payer, good-night tucker, bed maker, resident nag, chore dictator, lifetime griever, AND now mouse trap remover, along with other jobs, came crashing down on my head and it was too much to bear. “I didn’t ask for THIS. I don’t want it any more,” I prayed, “Following, I still want my kids, but God, I just don’t want this mouse or any other in or near my house. Please, not now. I’m not strong enough.”
That is the truth. Somehow, God gives me strength everyday to keep going despite this lifetime sentence of grief. But, when I saw that stupid mouse, in MY garage, I KNEW that I had reached my MAX. Dealing with one more thing is way too much right now, so please take that rodent away.