This child was my first; the one who taught me how to be a mom. The one who taught me about love and heartbreak. The one who continues to help me grow as a person every single day.
Today, I asked him, “What have you learned in the first decade of your life?”
“Too much to tell you!” He said and tried to walk away. I think he knew an assignment was coming, and he was desperately trying to avoid it.
“Write down your top five to ten, please.” I said in a gentle, yet I’m not asking voice.
“I’d rather just tell you,” he said as I made dinner, and tried to do a million other things.
I handed him my phone and told him to make a video. Just like our relationship, it’s all about the loving and respecting compromise. He would have written it down for me, despite how hard writing is for him, especially at the end of a school day. I love him enough to recognize when I’m asking him a little too much and am willing to find a different way of thinking.
The lessons my son learned in the first decade of his life, according to him:
- I’ve learned not to use violence.
- I’ve learned not to give up.
- I’ve learned to take better care of our dog, which she’s so cute.
- I’ve learned how to be nice to my sister.
- I’ve learned how to be nice to Mom.
- And I’ve learned how to let my feelings get out of my body.
While my son has been a student of life, he has also been my teacher. Oh, how he has knowingly and unknowingly educated me.
The Top 5 Lessons I Learned from my Son in his First Decade:
1. There is an end to my patience. I’ve always prided myself on how much patience i have for children. My son has taught me that eventually, with enough badgering, begging and undesirable behavior, I will LOSE it.
2. Not everyone needs to be taught the same things. My son naturally learned to read and memorize his math facts, yet it still blows my mind the social skills we rehearse and discuss every single day of his life. Spelling lists get lost and thrown away, but social stories are laminated in a drawer for quick reference.
3. Baseball is a fun and interesting sport of strategy. I’ve always had a fondness of baseball, but I never found it particularly interesting, until I’ve watched it with my son. He will tell you the play by play, give advice on strategy, and cheer louder than anyone there. He shares his passion with me in such a way, I can’t help but love it too.
4. Not all “Type A” personalities are willing to organize and keep track of their things. My son likes things to be neat and orderly, but he’s more than willing to shove all of his precious belongings into baskets and drawers. I have no idea where he learned that.
5. It’s really and truly OK to be different. I’m not the mom I thought I’d be. I don’t have enough patience or energy to do all of the things. My kids are also not the kids I thought I’d have. They’re opinionated, sometimes lazy, and incredibly honest. While this life has not followed through on the vision I had ten years ago, I’m still in love with them.
Despite the trials and tribulations, as well as the headaches and heartaches, I love being my kids’ mom more than I ever thought possible and that will never change.
If you liked this post, check out my newest mothering piece in I Still Just want to Pee Alone.